Seventeen years of Marital Fun

It’s been 17 years (to the exact day – it was a Friday, it’s now Friday) since we held a small ceremony in my father-in-law’s church. 17 years where things have been up, down, sideways, bent, spent and mutilated. 17 years that I don’t regret for even a moment. As Garth Brooks said in “The Dance”, “I could’ve missed the pain, but then I would’ve missed the dance.”

For Better or For Worse – We’ve had rocky patches over the years. What pair of humans can live in close confines with each other without SOME disagreements? And if you says “My parents didn’t fight”, I just say – they were better at hiding it. It’s natural to disagree, even with your mate. What’s not natural is for you to allow that disagreement to come between you. We’ve had to work hard (extremely hard at some points) to manage the disagreements in a healthy manner, but we did. Still together 17 years later and she’s still my best friend.

For Richer and For Poorer – We’ve never been rich, money-wise. Many years ago, we made a decision that I do not regret. Even knowing what I do now, I’d still make the same decision. We decided that the best thing for the children (of which we have been blessed with four) would be She Who Must Be Adored would remain home with them. It’s made it … interesting … from time to time dealing with a single income, but with loving family on both sides, we’ve managed to survive. Seeing the way the kids have turned out, we would do it again. She Who Must Be Adored is a wonderful mother (even if she doesn’t always think so) that has done right so far by her kids. Oh, and by me. But I tend to forget about me. 🙂

In Sickness and In Health – Both of us have health issues that make it difficult sometimes. Between her health issues and my fibromyalgia (and associated conditions), it’s been difficult sometimes. When the pain or the depression hits so bad that it’s hard for the other person to understand what’s going on, that’s when we depend on each other the most. I know that I would’ve been hard pressed to make it through the last couple years as the FMS symptoms have gotten worse and my arthritis has become almost unbearable, at times. Having the support of a loving, caring mate has helped me get through the worst of it. Having her and the kids in my life gives me a reason to push myself to not allow this disease to beat me. From the bottom of my heart, her unwavering support for me during this time says more than she’s ever been able to vocalize (and since she’s where the kids got their chatterbox tendencies from … that’s saying something. 😀 )

Til Death Do Us Part – Today marks the start of our 18th year of marriage (21st year of being a couple). For me, it’s just a down payment on the time we’re going to spend together. She Who Must Be Adored completes me (and this is just one of the reasons she must be Adored. 🙂 When we aren’t together (I’m away on business or she’s off with the kids somewhere for a couple days, what-have-you), I feel a chunk of myself missing. The bed feels empty. The house echos. There’s a feeling of missing something. When she returns, all of the emptiness is filled again and I feel complete, once more.

For my beautiful wife, thank you for making the last 17 years special for me. Happy Anniversary, love, and here’s to another 53 years. ’cause 70 years together has that nice round feeling to it, don’t it?

— sham

Originally posted at on 11/25/2011

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